Tri-Cities, Washington

After noticing the problems that emerged, I decided to "Get busy living or Get busy dying". I had so many dreams of traveling and living it up and each time we'd get excited about doing it, thoughts would develop on how uncomfortable it would be to fly, to sit and dine at any booth. The expense of having to buy 2 seats instead of just one...and huffing and waddling through the airport made our dreams vaporize in seconds.

In April, I realized just how heavy I was.
My bestfriend was really stressed out and decided she needed a vacation and wanted to take me along. It was her birthday present to me and and a chance for her to see Argentina. I could not afford to be on vacation so decided that since there was a 6 hour difference I would go and work from Argentina and we could go see the sights at night since Argentina has a lot of "Night Life".

Well, it was then I realized that being 445 pounds was no longer possible. The flight alone was unbearable for my back and bottom. My seat belt extension was not as loose as it used to be and I could not even bring the little table down for our food tray. It was a 30 hour flight and I could not fit in the bathroom. Finally arriving at our destination which was Buenos Aires, where there are many fit and beautiful looking people, I could see signs of disgust on peoples faces. Most wouldn't even attempt to whisper, they'd actually say to each other, "mira que asco" which means "look how gross". As I tried to play off that it didn't bother me, I'd laugh it off or pretend I didnt hear it. The first days were nice since we stayed with family and obviously friends and family are great. Then the weekend came and it was time to show her the city. Sadly, I would have to stop every 5 minutes to sit down. It was then when I shut down. I didn't want to be the one that spoiled the fun. I couldn't even dance. Everything had to be pre-meditated so I wouldn't have to be embarrassed. Even dining out was horrible, we had to wait longer at restaurants to get a table with chairs instead of a booth and to top it all off every where we went, I felt like a SHOW. Kids actually would as their parents why I was so fat. It was embarrassing. I realized then and there I had to do something. After our 14 days of "vacation", I came straight home and looked in to Gastric Bypass.

I had contemplated it 3-4 years earlier but my husband was very much against it. My parents had tried to convince me and I guess due to rebellion I was fighting against it. My brothers and sisters would never have the nerve to tell me anything because they knew my reaction and would never want to offend me. When I looked in the mirror which was HARDLY, I never saw myself that big. I guess I had a different image of myself and would justify it by thinking "people that know the inner me like me and if they couldn't get past it then it was their loss". Most of my life, that is all I heard, "what a pretty face, if she would only lose weight"... Some people are so insensitive. Who honestly wants to be overweight? If I could snap my fingers or wiggle my nose, I would have never wanted to be obese...

Being the youngest of 14 kids, you end up building walls I suppose since you have so many people that try to control you. One of my brothers, may he rest in peace, believed that if he and one of my other brothers' ignored me and excluded me, I would lose weight. In my mind, I would think, "I'll show him" and would eat a whole loaf of bread. See, from all of us kids, at 12, I weighed more than my mom and dad and people would call my fat, "baby fat" and would say I'd grow out of it. Boy were they wrong!!!

Anyway, back to the story. Since I worked at a big company, I checked if they would cover the surgery. Because of my BMI being so high, I qualified with flying colors. Unfortunately there were no locals doctors that were covered by my plan and the expense would have to come out of my pocket. Luckily when I did the math, after having to pay 20% anyway, it was the same cost whether I did it through the insurance as if I did it with one of the local Doctors. After a huge discussion with my husband, and the doctor telling us that if I didn't do something now, I had at the most 10 years to live and lets face it...I wasn't really living anyway. We decided (well I) to do it. This way, if I did die, I died trying to live instead of just laying down waiting for death. So it went, on July 18th, I did it.
I was in the hospital for 4 1/2 days due to some complications. Truly, have no memory of it but according to my husband it was scary. Apparently, when they opened me up, they found I had cirrhosis of the liver and thus although they usually remove your gallbladder when they're in there, the Dr didn't see that possible.

Coming home was an adventure, as the nauseas began. According to the type of surgery I had, i was supposed to have none of those symptoms however it has been the complete opposite.